February 7, 2024
From Doubts to Dreams: How Listening to Myself Changed Everything
READ TIME - 5 MINUTES
What is the biggest lesson you have ever learned? I know mine...This past week, I came across a question, "What is the biggest lesson you have ever learned?" and it really made me think. As I mulled over this question, I was reminded of something one of my friends, Adrian, said recently, "They're going to hate regardless, so just do you!"
It's not a new idea, but every human struggles with this at some point. You probably know exactly what I'm talking about: the lingering worry of what others will think about you for doing something — anything.
At times, it can feel severely limiting — debilitating, even. It can make you question your whole existence. But I'm convinced it's in these moments where your innate strength and resilience genuinely shine.
Let me put it into context.
When I think of my journey so far, 23 short years on this rotating, revolving rock we call planet Earth, I can't help but think of the many lessons I've learned throughout school, social settings, and in becoming a young professional.
In elementary school, I posted weather forecasting videos for a (small) YouTube audience.
In middle school, I started a nonprofit called Charitable Crusaders (now dream: success), which is focused on bringing education to children around the world.
I failed freshman year in high school for skipping and missing too much school. (I was SO disengaged and bored out of my mind; high school was essentially meaningless.)
After graduating with an associate's degree from a local community college in 2019, I scored a full-ride scholarship to Texas Christian University (TCU), a private university in my hometown of Fort Worth, TX, that is more expensive than Harvard.
Becoming a TCU Chancellor's Scholar was my huge break.
*wrong*
After a semester at TCU, experiencing diversity issues, feeling like I didn't belong, and not really learning anything, I knew I was in the wrong place.
I had contemplated leaving the university for months.
Ultimately, I walked away from the university — and a $290,000+ education — delighted and more peaceful than ever.
But the journey there was anything but delightful or peaceful.
There were endless nights I stayed up wondering if I was making the right choices.
There were days when I avoided as many people as possible not to have to explain myself or my decisions.
I felt people judged harshly without knowing the full extent of my experiences.
"What!? Why would you give up all that money?"
"You're crazy; make sure this is what you really want!"
"Going there has literally been your Dream since you were a child!"
In the beginning, I doubted myself. What was I thinking?
I constantly questioned why the things that made so many others happy didn't bring me the same joy.
I felt like there was something wrong with me.
—
My breakthrough came when I stopped caring about what others thought.
Easier said than done, right? Definitely.
But the most significant element that got me to this point was time.
For a while, I became less social.
I stepped away from social media.
And I didn't engage in text messages or DMs.
I needed time to feel, process, and unload.
For once, my focus was internal — not external.
I leaned into being myself and finding contentment from within.
I dialed back my inner critic and practiced being more understanding with myself.
The result: an increased (peaceful) consciousness and level of emotional intelligence (or, as I like to call it, the practice of biting my tongue).
—
I learned the importance of listening to myself and pursuing my Dreams.
And perhaps most importantly, I learned how to ignore the noise that is, more often than not, unsolicited opinions.
Since then, I've invested heavily in my professional development through other paths. I got through my undergraduate studies over a year ago. I'm pursuing my master's in professional accountancy, studying for the CPA exam, launching multiple businesses, and pursuing my passion for advancing global education through dream: success.
I'm convinced that I had to go through all of this to become comfortable with the all-too-familiar critical opinions you get from taking the unfamiliar path — or, honestly, just existing. 🤣
I've found that this is also true for almost everyone as well.
To summarize, my biggest lesson is precisely what Adrian put into far better words than I ever could: "They're going to hate regardless, so just do you!"
Today, I'm challenging you to ask yourself these two questions:
- What opinions from others am I letting in that may be harmful?
- What is the biggest lesson you have ever learned?